9/11 Twenty Years On

I always find this day a tough one to get through, and, twenty years later, those feelings haven't gone away. I just want to share my own recollection from that day in September, 2001.

People who write recollections of terrible events usually start out with something along the lines of "It was an ordinary day."

September 11th, 2001, for me was very much an ordinary day. It was a workday, and I was on my way in to work. I was running late for a meeting, and was a little sour about that. I had decided not to stay in NY City overnight the previous evening. We'd been working on a large project, and Monday night the 10th was the last working night before the project went into effect after the meeting on the morning of the 11th. I was regretting my decision to instead, go home that Monday night and skip the hotel.

About 8:30, my ferry into NY landed on the dock. I was hurrying to get from the East Side over to the World Financial Center, just west of the World Trade Center. I was using a Blackberry device to communicate with a partner of mine who was at the meeting and who had agreed to cover for me.

Then around 8:40 AM, he sent me an email to tell me that all was well, and that I should just head right to work at the Exchange, and meet him there. Everything worked out fine, so my mood was a little less hostile when I got to the Exchange.

I stopped in the office coatroom and hung my suit jacket. I put on my work jacket and headed upstairs. As I reached my work area, a large group had gathered around one of the large TV monitors that we had installed. They were watching CNN.

Apparently, at around 8:45 AM, an airplane had struck the North Tower of the World Trade Center. The plane had smashed into the north face of the building, at the higher floors of the building. The reports were early, but there was a video crew on location already, and images were being broadcast. We could see the building burning, and heavy smoke coming from the building.

I turned to one of my partners and he asked if I wanted to join him outside for a smoke. Two of my brothers were working at 4 World Trade Center, which to those who might not know, are those black buildings we could see at the base of the larger towers. I suggested we walk over to the WTC as it was still early, and I could see that my brothers were OK.

Kevin and I began to walk north on Nassau Street toward the Trade Center. As we walked, huge amounts of paper were floating down from the sky. A good portion of these papers were charred on the edges, but we could see that they were mostly letterhead, computer printouts, and the like. The street was already fairly covered by the paper. I reached down and picked up some of the paper as we walked. The letterhead was printed with familiar company names, but I felt as though I shouldn't be reading what was printed on it, so I dropped it. There was a pretty heavy smell of smoke in the air, but we were far enough at the moment that it wasn't a real problem for him or me.

As we got to Liberty Street, we got a clear view of what had happened. There was a large, gaping hole in the side of the building and large amounts of smoke pouring out. People were milling all about, not quite sure what was going on. We watched the building as we walked closer to the site, and the smoke became thicker as we approached.

We walked together, looking at the building. We could see burning debris falling from the sides of the North Tower, and the noise from the responding emergency vehicles filled the air. People were heading in both directions, toward and away from the towers.

A few minutes later, as we got closer to the South Tower, it was apparent that this was a lot more than a small-aircraft crashing into the building. The damage was too widespread for it to have been anything less than a commercial airliner. Unfortunately, as we got closer, we could also see that among the debris that was falling, there were also people who had jumped from the higher floors. We weren't quite close enough to actually see who they were, but we knew what was going on.

We were a few hundred feet from the actual base of the South Tower at shortly after 9 AM. He and I had stopped in a rather empty area and were standing quietly. There was a Burger King restaurant to our left, and people were standing in front of it, and the adjacent firehouse.

Suddenly, there was a very loud sound and a large explosion over our heads. We didn't know it that moment, but a second plane had flown in and crashed into the South Tower. As it sunk in, very quickly, people began to run toward Kevin and me. We turned and began to run as well, as debris and smoke began to rain down.

I remember as we reached the corner of Liberty and Nassau, he and I stopped next to a large white truck to catch our breath. Kevin looked at the truck and said, "We might not want to be standing next to this truck."

That was actually the first time that thoughts of anything sinister going on passed through our minds. Up to that moment, this was all one big, horrific accident.

We caught our breath, and joined the crowd of people running south on Nassau toward Broad and Wall Streets. As we reached the Exchange entrances, the first sets of doors had their gates pulled down. We continued to the south end of the building, which was also locked.

He and I found an alcove another block down and stopped there. It was next to a Timothy's Coffee Shop, and offered some resting space off the street. The crowd thinned somewhat by that point.

I took my Blackberry device from my belt and began to read emails from various people. The partner who had attended the meeting was in the Trade Center Plaza when the first plane struck the north tower. He had run toward Albany Street and was on the other side of town from where we were now. He and I exchanged a few messages for the next few minutes. I also began to receive emails from my brother, who was working in Jacksonville, Florida, and who was watching the news on CNN. He began to send me updates. Among the first was the revelation that the media was declaring this an act of terrorism, and that the country was under attack.

I emailed Kevin's brother to find out where he was, and to let him know that Kevin was with me and we were ok. A number of people stopped and asked if I would send emails on their behalf, to check in with family, etc. One woman told us that she had gone in late that morning, and was due at an office in the North Tower. She asked if I would email her husband.

In the meantime, a number of my friends were sending me messages, telling me their whereabouts and inquiring as to mine. We were exchanging whatever little information we had, trying to not only make sense of what had happened so far, but trying to figure out what we should be doing next.

At one point, my brother's emails increased in frequency and urgency. Kevin and I were still standing by the coffee shop when I got one that said there had been another attack, this time at the Pentagon.

It's hard to remember exactly what I was thinking or feeling in those few minutes. I was grateful to have the Blackberry device, as apparently all the cell phone service, as well as the land lines, had been knocked out of service, yet this Blackberry continued to stay connected. I was exchanging emails with anyone who could write, and learned that quite a few of my coworkers were still inside the Exchange. Kevin and I could not get inside, so we holed up right where we were.

About 10 AM, my brother emailed me again. This time, he was borderline frantic.

"Look, they confirmed an attack on the Pentagon in Washington. There are rumors that the Washington Monument was hit, as well as Camp David. CNN said there are more planes unaccounted for. Get the hell off Manhattan. Get off and be safe."

I began to read this message out loud to Kevin and a couple of people who were standing with us. I was interrupted by a very large rumbling sound, followed by what sounded like something crashing. Kevin and I reacted the same way: "shit, another plane is crashing!" As I stepped out onto the street, a huge black cloud blew at us, and I immediately thought that a plane had crashed, and this was the fireball. Instinct said, "run." As the cloud hit me, that's exactly what I did. I got a couple of lungs full of this smoke, dust and debris, and ran coughing and choking back toward the building.

While we later learned that it obviously wasn't a plane crashing, but rather the South Tower collapsing that was plunging us into terror, we didn't have that knowledge at that moment. We didn't know what was happening at all.

It isn't lying to say that we were in utter panic. This all happened a lot more quickly than I can describe in writing. He and I ran into the building that we'd been standing in front of. We ran inside, and without speaking, decided being inside was not what we wanted to do. We both ran to the east entrance to the building, opposite of where we'd been standing. The glass doors were locked, and I ran for the fire extinguisher I'd spotted. We were going through that door one way or another. But luckily, a guard ran over and unlocked the door, and we ran out onto New Street.

The wisdom of that choice was quickly questioned by both of us. We ran right into a stifling cloud of smoke and dust so thick we actually couldn't breathe. I made the futile attempt to filter the air with a handkerchief as I ran, but quickly discarded that. The smoke was so thick, I could no longer see Kevin as we ran.

There was a NY City Traffic Agent running with us, and she was as scared as I was. We ran south, as it turned out, but I couldn't tell where I was. It occurred to me that Kevin was no longer with me. Nor was the traffic agent. I looked around a moment and yelled for him, but he was gone. As I made my way south, I spotted the familiar sign from a restaurant I knew. I headed toward that, and got inside. A very kindly gentleman was working the counter, and as people ran in, he offered large cups and bottles of water. My eyes were burning and swelling some, so I took one of the cups of water and stepped outside with two NYC policemen, and we proceeded to pour the water into our eyes. As we stood in the street, one of the officers wandered a few yards west to check things out. He turned and came running back toward me and the other officer, and he was yelling, "Run, run, get down, get down" and in an instant, the narrow street filled with the unmistakable sound of another jet engine, moving quickly and toward us. The streets in that area are very narrow, and the tall buildings make the area cavernous, so it was extremely loud.

People panicked and ran. I remember standing frozen for a moment or two, trying to get bearings as to which way to run. Suddenly, a woman ran up behind me, screaming and wailing, and literally jumped on my back as I began to run. She'd wrapped her arms around my face and caused my nose to bleed from the force, and she was screaming in my ears as I ran. I hollered at her to hold on and stop screaming.

It turned out the jet we'd just heard was actually military aircraft moving into the area, but we didn't learn that until days later.

There was actually a comical moment at this point. As I turned the next corner and began to run through the smoke, I ran, literally, head-on into a pole from scaffolding that was erected on the building. To this day, I am amazed that I didn't go down, or at worst, drop my passenger, who finally stopped screaming. I'd opened up a pretty good gash on my forehead to add to the bloody mess that was going on in my face.

I ran west after that, and entered South Street. For a few minutes, the air had cleared, the woman had stopped screaming and we could both breathe. I asked her to climb off a minute so I could gather myself a little and figure out what to do. She got off, and simply ran toward the north. I didn't ever see her again after that.

The East River was across the street from where I was standing. Through all the chaos, here I was standing right where I'd started the morning off at 8:30.

I worked my way across to the Ferry landing. There were a number of people from my job standing there on the pier. A group of young children, along with their mothers and teachers, were standing there as well. Apparently, they were all on a field trip to Manhattan from New Jersey that morning, and had gotten caught up in the chaos as well. Another gentleman named Kevin, who also worked with me, was standing next to me now, and he had a large handkerchief over his nose and mouth. He was looking at me rather intently, but not saying anything. I forgot about my bloody nose and forehead. One of the women offered me some tissues and I used those and my water bottle to wash off a little.

Then we heard the same rumbling crashing sound again. It wasn't as loud this time, but it was distinct. The North Tower was collapsing now, and the dust spread out and covered the entire Lower Manhattan area. As we watched from the pier, the smoke, dust and debris cloud blew out at us from between the buildings. I remember that there was no panic on the pier at that point. A few of us gathered the children and mothers between us and moved them toward the actual dock where ferries could tie up, just in case the ferry companies decided to send help. But other than that, we stood engulfed for only a few minutes until the wind from the river cleared the air again.

We lucked out over the next half-hour. A ferry company called SeaStreak sent its whole fleet to Manhattan shortly after the situation and the need for evacuations became obvious. The boats were there in a very short time, and the crews aboard them worked very quickly to get people on. the mothers and kids from the field trip were the first on board, and they moved to the inner cabin, while the rest of us moved to the upper two decks. I wound up on the top, outdoor deck with some other fellas from the Exchange. It took only a couple of minutes for our ferry to pull out and as we pulled back and began to turn around into the channel, we could see the entire skyline covered in a huge cloud of smoke and dust. There was a brief moment where I urged the ferry on; it was time to get out of there.

But we were now safe for the time being. I remember talking to one gentleman as I tried to get my cell phone to connect. He asked who I was trying to call and mentioned that my brothers worked in the trade center. He walked around the top deck and returned to me with a working phone and told me to make my calls. He then took a look at my face to see where the blood was coming from. It was mostly dried blood now, as the bleeding had mostly stopped, but I would wait until I got off to try and clean up. With all the smoke and dust on my face, it didn't much matter.

After 45 minutes or so, the boat docked in Highlands NJ. As we disembarked, we could see that the parking lot was jammed full of emergency vehicles, doctors, policemen, firemen, nurses, EMT's etc. It was quite a scene. As I walked off, a nurse approached me to help, but I assured her that I looked a lot worse than I was. She looked at me a minute and said "OK."

The next Lady wasn't going to be convinced. She took my arm and lead me to a waiting ambulance where she sat me down. The took out a few bottles of what I assume was saline solution. She flushed my eyes, nose and mouth, and I have to admit that it felt very good. She cleaned up the cut on my forehead, noting that the scalp bleeds like crazy, even from small cuts. She cleaned me up nicely, and checked my eyes with that little light they use. She suggested I go to the Emergency Room on that ambulance, but I assured and convinced her that I was ok, and that people a lot worse off than me would be coming in on the later ferries. I had to sign a medical release form and they let me go.

I realized that I'd left my car keys and wallet in my suit jacket at the Exchange. A friend who had been off from work that day happened to come looking for us to see if we needed a hand with anything, and he offered to drive me home. That was a nice lucky break, since it was at least 12 miles to my apartment. When I climbed into the front seat, his wife and kids were in the back. The kids were very curious as to why this man with dirty, dusty, bloody clothes was in there car. We decided not to go into details with them, obviously.

I remember the moment my cellphone went back into service. The first call I received was from my friend T., who had been the family babysitter at one time, but who was now like family. She was very upset on the phone, but at the same time very happy to be talking to me. I was just as happy to talk to her. We were brief, as I needed to get in touch with my kids and the rest of my family, but there are some things you never forget, you know? A friend was looking for me to be safe.

The best part of that week was the moment I laid eyes on my kids. It took some doing because I had no car for a couple of days, but eventually, all was right again with my family.

My brothers were fine. My older brother never got off his train from the lower level of the Trade Center. The Transit command told the train crew to keep the doors closed and go back to NJ. My younger brother was at work in 4 World Trade Center, but at the first sign of trouble, the entire division there was moved out of the building. He was actually standing a few hundred feet from me when that second plane flew over our heads, but he evacuated to Brooklyn.

You never quite forget seeing the loss of life that took place that day. I saw people choose to end their own lives because the conditions were so horrific in the upper floors of the towers. Those are memories that never leave you.

I think about how fortunate I was that day, seemingly being in the right places at the right time, or rather not being in the wrong places. I saved some items from that day, including the shoes that served me well. I also think about the decision not to stay overnight at the hotel as I had for 2 nights the previous week, the hotel being the Marriott World Trade Center Hotel, which was destroyed in the attack. Who knows what time I'd have gotten up, or when I would have been in the plaza, or countless other "what-if's". I just count my blessings.

I didn't lose any family members that day, but I did lose some friends.

Lt. Stephen Bates was a NY City Fireman. I was friends with him from a local neighborhood hangout in Queens, as well as some time spent during summers in the Hamptons. I attended his memorial service in October 2001.

Eustace (Rudy) Bacchus was a friend from work. He was among the group of people that trained me when I first entered my industry. He had become an independent contractor, and was attending a meeting at the Windows on The World Restaurant the morning of September 11th.

Alvin Bergsohn was another friend I had made when I began my career. He was a mentor to me during my early days, but also became a good friend with whom I shared a lot of laughs on the Exchange over the year. Al eventually left the Exchange and was working at Cantor Fitzgerald on September 11th

Joe Biden and the Stock Market and the economy in general.

With Biden in office, you will see the Dow Jones Industrial Average go on a major tear. I see the Dow reaching close to 40,000 by the end of Biden's first term. He will revive the economy, there will be major bills passed into law, particularly infrastructure. Jobs will be created as we come out of the pandemic and Joe will get the economy truly popping. 

Just watch. 

Thoughts?

Welcome
to 2020

 

•
Phones - Wireless

 

•
Cooking - Fireless

 

•
Cars - Keyless

 

•
Food – Fatless

 

•
Tires – Tubeless

 

•
Dress – Sleeveless

 

•
Youth – Jobless

 

•
Leaders – Shameless

 

•
Relationships – Meaningless

 

•
Attitudes – Careless

 

•
Babies – Fatherless

 

•
Feelings – Heartless

 

•
Education – Valueless

 

•
Children – Mannerless

 

•
Country – Godless 

 

We
are Speechless.

 

The
Congress is Clueless.

 

And
our president is Worthless.

Horrified

The next time you leave your home, stop a second and look back at it.

Now imagine that place of yours smashed, leveled and destroyed. Think about what it would be like if your home was reduced to a lifeless pile of rubble. All the beams, studs, sheet rock, shingles, lying in a huge pile.

Or imagine it's gone without a trace. That one blows my mind. A gaping hole where the foundation was and no other signs of it having been there in the first place. All the toys, books, pictures gone. TV is a memory. All your clothes blown away. Take it to that level of detail. You can't find anything that belongs to you. Or if you do find some of your things, they're no longer usable. Every memento, every photo, souvenir... gone.

Think about that. Think about how you'd cry. Or how the kids would.

Think about that.

Then do something to help someone to whom this has happened.

You can text REDCROSS to 90999 to donate $10 to American Red Cross Disaster Relief

Not A Bucket List

I'm definitely not writing a Bucket List, because that's not necessary. I'm not going to be exiting the building any time soon, thanks. But this battle with Multiple Myeloma has definitely renewed my enthusiasm about the future and about living. And I do have a list of things I want to do. And it will all take place after we say "F*ck You" to cancer. So let's call it my F*ck It List instead. It's going to be an ongoing process, so stay tuned for updates.

Here's what I have so far:

The F*ck It List:

1. Wake up every day and thank God for everyone in my life, in particularly my 3 kids. And I'm going to say that prayer every single morning.
2. Get a Fiat 15. Small car, big heart. Like some of my friends.
3. Get my career back on track. I'm going to take this situation from a job to an adventure. I love what I do.
4. Get physically fit. Enough so that I might be able to be proud of being in pictures.
5. Pose in a photograph with my favorite Country Singer, Kristy Lee Cook.
6. Pose in a second photograph with my favorite TV star Alyssa Milano, because yes, I'm a groupie.And meet & greet with Nia Peeples. For the same reason.
7. Go on all the lunch and dinner dates I've been lining up. I have a lot of those to catch up on.
8. Spend a nice long weekend in Woodloch Pines with my kids, who choose Woodloch over Disney World. That's how great that place is.
9. Attend my High School reunion with some of the best people I know.
10. Ride a bicycle again. More than a block, that is.
11. Grow a mullet. Ok just kidding about that.
12. Get a tattoo.  OK just kidding again. I'm way too chicken.
13. Do anything it takes to reconnect with some people from whom I'm drifted apart. Some of them are worth the effort.
14. Visit my friends out West. Again. Best time ever.
15. Visit my friends down South, too. Namely Virginia. (The State)
16. Beat the hell out of the life expectancy statistics for Multiple Myeloma. Oh, man, Social Security will pay me!
17. Become a department manager at work. Yes. I love that place. And I'm going to get my career back on track.
18. Read the Bible, cover-to-cover, again.
19. Have lunch with Geno, and with Marie O'Kane cuz we're all going to get better.
20. Love a lot of people who have loved me. And never forget that love. And support. And become active in Multiple Myeloma Awareness. And find a way to thank Michelle & Tommy Brennan, and Rex, my lifelong buddy, for the Blood Drive. Oh, and Rose Mary Brennan too. She donated blood even though it practically killed her.
21. Spend the rest of my life thanking my parents, brothers, sister, and sister's in law for the support. More than you'll ever know.
22. Thank my friends from Facebook and Twitter for the endless support.

That's just for starters.

What's a buck?

Alyssa Milano & Milo
Raising Funds for St. Jude

Cancer is a mean bastard. It's as indiscriminate at the most evil criminal on Earth. Anyone can be attacked by cancer at any time, without warning, without mercy.

Us older folks, well we're supposed to get sick at times. We can be told what we're up against, and have an understanding of what we're fighting. Eventually, we're all supposed to die anyway, so it's annoying and saddening, but not always surprising. Things go wrong, and with age, we grow to expect it. I'm fighting cancer now, and it at least seems like a fair fight.

But cancer goes after kids. Other diseases attack kids as well. But cancer is particularly vile.

St Jude's Children's Hospital helps those kids. It's always armed and ready with the best weapons to fight the evils that plague our kids. But it does so with the help of thousands of people like us. Giving what we can, when we can.

What's a buck? In some places it's a cup of coffee. A snack. Or even a DVD rental. So giving a buck might mean some of us have to do without one cup, one bite or a movie. When you think about the battles these children fight, every single day, you realize how much more they give up. Every day. No playing outside. For months on end, these kids can't be with friends their own age. They rely on grownups for companionship. They play with other sick kids occasionally, but for most it's a lonely battle wrought with sacrifice.

But if you've ever met one of these kids, you're astounded by their spirit, their resilience. They see life as we all should, a day-to-day gift with no guarantees. They cry sometimes. But minutes later they bounce back, ready to share a laugh or a giggle or a toy.

Let's do something to help. Those kids would never ask for a handout, believe me. It's up to us to get past our limitations, our egos, our selfishness.

Why not help Alyssa Milano and the cause of St. Jude's Children's hospital? Give up that extra cup of coffee, or bag of chips. There's always tomorrow for us. And with our help, there can be tomorrows for countless kids who are in need.

Check out the campaign here: Alyssa Milano & Milo Raising Funds for St. Jude

And give what you can, when you can. In the tradition of Social media, share this story if you can't donate. Let's get people involved.

Let's Get Ready To Rumble

I got invited to a fight. I don't much like to fight. But this time I better get over that and get ready to slug it out.

On Friday, July 13th, (gotta love that date) my oncologist diagnosed me with a cancer called Multiple Myeloma. It's a nasty little cousin to Leukemia and Lymphoma. If you want to know a little more about it, this website can help define it for you.

This cancer has no cure, but we can stomp it into remission. That's the goal. My kids and I talked it over, and they're with me all the way. My parents were with me that day, so they're up to speed too, and, as usual, behind me 100%.

I don't think it's going to be easy. I'm not kidding myself. This little devil messes with the bones, so I'll have to be a lot less clumsy. Don't want to break any more bones, thanks.

On July 19th I'll go in for a bone marrow biopsy, I guess to confirm and stage my cancer. I'll get more info from the oncologist once he has those results. I had a lot of dental work done this week so that my mouth is in good shape for the oncoming treatments.

I want this to be a very loud, public battle, because I want to show cancer who's boss. And I want you all to join the battle so maybe some other people can benefit. I figure if I win, other people will win too. I'm not a hero, I'm not a superman. I'm just a regular guy who is in the fight of his life. Let's let other people know they're not alone in their fights.

Let's kick some ass. :)

Thanks for reading.

NAILED IT!

OK I've figured out how to know exactly when someone has been abducted by aliens.

When someone calls you, and you miss the call, you typically call right back, no?

The phone rings, and rings and rings. And then goes to voicemail. You never hear from that person again.

They're gone.

Abducted.

Simply Put

I think any company that fires a Guardsman for complying with active military duty should be put out of business. I also think that any company that refuses to hire a Service person should suffer the same fate. We owe a lot to these people and employing them is the least we can do.

Resolved for 2012 / The Twitter Club

Ok, so here is your chance to post your 2012 New Year's Resolutions and have them here to look at a year from now. See how you do!

Just add your resolutions in the comment's section!

New Year's Eve, a little early

I always loved a good holiday buffet, especially on New Year's Eve. The more, the merrier. Garry Marshall has provided a buffet of his own with the release of "New Year's Eve", the movie. This is an ensemble cast production and every performance in this movie is a perfect dish in the buffet.

The cast is charming, the plot lines are so clever and well thought out. This is an intricate weave of ingredients that does not skimp on the fun. There are appearances by a couple of Hollywood greats, namely Robert DeNiro and Hector Elizondo who produce some of the main courses, but one of the standout performances is dished by Lea Michele. Her chemistry with Ashton Kutcher is extremely believable and very pleasant to watch. Another great, Hilary Swank, gives the type of performance we've come to expect, and proves herself to be quite comically capable.

I hesitate to describe even a bit of the action because, while this is a cinematic smorgasbord, every dish comes together in a way that would make even Emeril proud, and to give even a hint of the plot twists would spoil this feast. Suffice to say that if you are looking for a real feel-good movie that warms the heart without being too sweet or cloying, then you are in for a real treat with this production. There are no lackluster performances, and every cast member shines in his or her respective roles. This is one of the best jobs of fitting the actors to the parts I have seen in a long time. You'll love Michelle Pfieffer, Hallie Berry will bring tears to your eyes, and Garry Marshall enlisting Alyssa Milano in a role with such an appropriate line, well that is the cherry on the sundae for me.

Do yourself a favor and get to see this movie before the actual New Year's Eve. You'll be full, satisfied and energized to have a holiday that's just a little bit sweeter.

Why Men Can't Write Advice Columns:

I didn't write this. I stole it from a friend. Sue me!


Why Men Can't Write Advice Columns



Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was wearing my make up.

I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had dressed in my lingerie because he couldn't find his own underwear. But when I asked him about the make-up, he broke down and admitted that he'd been wearing my clothes for six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him.

He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely,
Sheila


Reply:

Dear Sheila:


A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps.


Walter

Fixing Facebook

Note: this info is current as of 11/15/2011.


OK so if all you want to see on Facebook is Status Updates, no videos, no games, no any-other-nonsense, then this is a good way to do it. It works only with Google Chrome. I haven't tried any fixes for other browsers, so I don't know what's available.

You have to install Google Chrome browser on your computer. If you haven't done that, get it here: www.google.com/chrome

Once you have that up and running, you can go to the Google Chrome Store here: chrome.google.com/webstore

Ok here we go. First, do a search for "Minimalist for Facebook"

You should then see this:

Then, click this:

OK the next step is to do another search. Search for "Hide Facebook SideBar Ticker"

You should see this:

Once again, click this:

When that is installed, close the browser completely. CLOSE IT!


Now open the browser again and go to www.facebook.com

Up in the address bar, you should see some little icons.

Click on this particular icon:

And you will see the pop-up menu appear:

Click on the options button and a new tab will open in your browser. (look up top)

On the next page, you'll see a menu on the left. For now, we'll just worry about the main menu options.

Once the page loads, you can make your selections here:

This is important! When you've checked all the boxes you want to hide, look at the top left of the page you're on.

Be sure to click the "Refresh Facebook to Apply" link.

 And that's it. You should only see the things you want to see on Facebook. I've hidden mostly everything, so I only see "status updates" on my page now.

Hope that helps.

Heroes Anyone?

CNN columnist LZ Granderson wrote an Op-Ed piece "America, a nation without heroes", http://www.cnn.com/2011/11/15/opinion/granderson-america-without-heroes/index.html?hpt=hp_c3 in which he concludes that few people are as good as advertised, and that we really don't have heroes anymore.

His statement that he sometimes just turns the TV off because he doesn't want to know "who's next." struck a chord with me. He says that if we look at our heroes from the past in the same way we scrutinize them today, we'd learn that America was probably never as great as we thought it was.

And that strikes a huge note with me.

Heroes have not changed. Trust me, there are plenty of people out there who are willing to do great things every day. Selfless, altruistic people really do exist, and we see evidence of that anytime there is a disaster, or someone is dire straits. People do step up.

What I believe has changed is our desire to cut people down. From the moment that someone steps into the spotlight, there is a subculture that sees a challenge. That challenge is to dig through every aspect of a hero's life, leaving no stone unturned in the pursuit of imperfection, of that "juicy story" that will make millions.  And those millions will come from people who thrive on negative news. Gossip magazines exist solely because people love to see the famous at their worst.

Our heroes haven't changed. We have.

Think about it a second. Who benefits from seeing a matinee idol without her make-up? Or a pregnant celebrity dressed in less than her Sunday Best? Consider that TMZ has become a go-to news source. Why?

Frankly, I'm amazed that anyone would consider running for any office in this Country anymore. Accepting a nomination these days is like painting a big, giant bullseye on one's back. When someone steps into the political, the entire family becomes subject to the spotlight as well. The job of a publicist has got to be a veritable nightmare.

Now, I agree that it always feels good when some self-righteous, pompous ass gets taken down a few pegs. The downfall of Larry Craig brought smiles to a few faces, I'm sure. But why have we become obsessed with "crash & burn" stories? When Sully Sullenberger rose to fame after he safely landed his US Airways plane in the Hudson River, I remember thinking, "How long before we find out how many affairs he's had?"

Our heroes are out there. I will stand by my belief that it is just as okay to worship heroes as it is to revel in their downfalls. And the day I wake up a perfect human being, I'll be okay with expecting my heroes to be perfect.

Cry

I do think that sometimes making someone cry is a good thing. A great thing even.

Reminding her that the world is so much better with her in it, yeah that can do it.
Making her feel as beautiful as she deserves to feel.
Thanking her for being her and telling her that without her, the word "great" could not be defined. I think that can do it.
Telling her that there isn't an hour of the day that goes by that she isn't thought of, and then somehow proving it.

I want to make someone cry like that.

Movies

I changed my cable package recently. I decided to try some of the movie channels.

I miss the days when "HBO" meant "Home Box Office" and HBO showed movies. Hit movies. Hit movies with titles that I actually heard of. And not "Hellboy", over and over again. Or the sequel.

And "Showtime" is even worse. They haven't had a hit movie air in years.

Thank God for Netflix.

The Rental

Rental cars are a bad thing. Most times, they're better than the car we normally drive. They have all the gadgets and toys, they smell good and for some reason they always get great gas mileage.

This leads to awful behavior. We're mean to our own car after we drop off the rental and go back home. We say bad things to our vehicle, telling it how much better the "other" car was, comparing features, mileage and smells.

We do that to our cars and then we get mad when they break down.

It's just wrong.

Stole This...

Me? Behave? Seriously...
As a child I saw Tarzan strolling naked.
Cinderella arrived home after midnight.

Pinocchio told lies.
Aladdin was a thief.
Batman drove over 200 miles an hour.
Snow White lived in a house with 7 men.
Popeye smoked a pipe and had many tattoos,
and in later years, Pac-Man ran with digital music eating pills that enhanced his performance.
The fault is not mine!

In A Day?

So yeah, this was the kind of day I had here.

First off, I baked a cake, from scratch. Flour, eggs, baking powder, milk, sugar. Only I forgot the sugar. Know what you get when you bake a cake from scratch, but without the sugar? You get really lousy bread, is what you get.

Then some kid I don't even know goes upstairs, uses the bathroom. Next thing, I hear running around up there, and then water starts cascading through the ceiling. Whatever went on in that bathroom, well the toilet clogged and overflowed. That's enough about that. I'll be burning my socks.

Oh and I got this bright idea. I had a dark blue shirt. When I was doing the laundry, I must have splashed bleach on  the shirt. Now I had a dark blue shirt with white sprinkles. I figured I might as well go on ahead and bleach the whole shirt. Into the washer went the shirt with a lot of Clorox. Soaked it, rinsed it.

How in God's name does a blue shirt bleach out and become pink? Yes, my shirt is pink. Looks like the frosting on my bread.

That's it for now.

Less-Famous People You Should Follow Part 2

I've discovered something about myself, and that is, no matter how "scientific" or "journalistic" I try to be with my writing, it always winds up coming from the heart. I guess there isn't going to be any room for me at the Wall Street Journal.


That's not going to worry me much. As I said, I approach Twitter from the "social" aspect of "social media." I like the friendly chatter, the heart-to-hearts that are achieved despite the limitations of an electronic medium. People manage to shine no matter by what means their words are shared.


That being said, here are some more people I'd suggest following, if you like the "social" side of things.

Ash @ashIeymegan is a sweet, engaging lady. She tweets frequently, sharing her thoughts and words, what she's doing, all the things that make Twitter fun for me. And she always has time to say "hi". She's got a bright future and is working hard to get there. One of my favorites.

Daniel @Danielzio Manages a bar & restaurant supply company in NYC. He's a good guy who specializes in Tweets regarding a favorite topic of mine: food! Check out his timeline. A lot of good stuff there!

Tommy Geraci @teeco71 Loves to promote talent, and has a lot of friends to work with. He also manages to mix in some great tweets about celebs, great quotes and a bright outlook on life. Fun guy to follow. Check it out!

Ashley @randomlyhappy Here's her Twitter bio: Student. Crazy fangirl. Has too much compassion for people. Tear ducts are broken. Loves horses, cars, and sports. Yes. I AM a girl. She's so engaging, entertaining and interesting. I love when her name pops up in my timeline. Give her a follow!

Cali Lewis @CaliLewis What can I say, I'm a geek who's fond of people fluent in tech-speak. And she likes bacon! Host of GeekBeat.TV. Tech correspondent for CNN, FOX and Sirius 101's GeekTime. Puts out a lot of good info and GeekBeat TV is a worthwhile daily visit.

Jess Mahler @babyjay4 I love "slice of life" tweets. I love people with a keen eye for observation when it comes to people and her tweets get my full attention every time. I'm so glad I chose to follow her because how could ya not love someone who posted this quote: "It takes more than a heartbeat to feel alive."

Charlene McAvennie @Charlie8Charlie This is her bio: Just a girl who hearts Africa, orphans, Jesus, chocolate, ☮ and ♥! Oh & self-appointed World Champion Procrastinator (challenge if you wish but you'll lose!) She is delightful, if I may use that word, kind, because there is no other word, and loving. Someone I enjoy knowing and someone whose heart I admire.

Angel LaCombe @angelmarie_3  is someone close to my heart. Her timeline is like a great daily movie. Finds the good in so many things in life. She's my partner-in-crime when it comes to twitter-projects for Alyssa's Army and someone I'm lucky to consider a friend.

OK that wraps up this edition. Hope you make the effort to follow these great folks. You won't regret it. More to come, so stay tuned!